Tantra Articles
Sexual
Massage Techniques
By Gabrielle Moore
- - -
Tantra: Sowing the Seeds
of Love
by
Goddess Genie
- - -
Sex Education
by Dr. Corynna Clarke
- - -
Uma's FAQ's
Actual questions answered by
Uma Parvati
- - -
Activating Energy and Amrita
by
Mare Simone
- - -
A Sexual Massage… in the Bathtub
By
Gabrielle Moore
- - -
Can Men REALLY Become Multi-Orgasmic?
by
Mare Simone
- - -
Tantra and Tantric
Sex
By Goddess Tanya
- - -
Frequently Asked Questions
Answered by
Dr. Corynna Clarke
- - -
Is
Tantra Sex?
by
Dr.
Corynna Clarke
LAYoga
Journal
Sexual Massage
Techniques by
Gabrielle Moore
A sexual massage is just something I LOVE to receive from my partner. It
always relaxes my body and my mind, and never fails to stir my center
till I’m all wet and ready to have mind-blowing sex!
I’m sure you want your woman to feel this too so I’m going to give you
some basic sexual massage moves you can do tonight. Ready?
How to Give Your Woman a Sexual Massage
In addition to ensuring that you have the right environment (i.e., a
quiet room, a well-laid out bed or place on the floor, etc.) and
equipment (e.g. scented candles, massage oils, etc.), consider making
use of fabric or items made of silk, satin and velvet as well. All these
different textures can help bring about different reactions from her. If
you don’t have them, don’t worry. Nothing can beat the best part of this
sexual massage session: you.
Firstly, ask your woman to undress (or better yet, undress her). Another
tip here to ensure good hygiene is to give her a warm bath first. Either
way, once she’s nude, have her lie face down on the area you prepared
for the massage. While she has her back to you, undress as well.
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Use your hot breath
Make sure your body and hands are not cold and then lie on top of her
(you facing the back of her head). Support your weight on your arms
(don’t crush her!). This move does three things: it signals the start of
the sexual massage by applying pressure on her whole body; it helps to
warm her body and prepare it for the massage; and it starts to introduce
sexual thoughts into her head because she can feel your penis between
her thighs.
Now don’t get carried away here and start sex. Proceed with the sexual
massage and you will be rewarded as the sexual tension builds up!
Now, start to breath on her neck and her back. Your hot breath should
stimulate her sensitive skin.
Use your fingertips
Now, pull yourself up and straddle her thighs (your penis resting
between the backs of her legs), put some warm oil on your hands and
start to massage her back with just your fingertips. Alternate your
strokes. Apply hard, pressured ones with light touches.
Palm circling
Progress from using your fingers to ‘palm circling’, which is basically
massaging her back by applying the whole width of your hand. This is a
firmer technique that helps her body really relax. As a general rule,
never massage her on the bones. Place the palms of both your hands on
her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her
spine.
Gliding
Scoot yourself lover down her body. You buttocks should be by her feet
now. Now reach to the top of her shoulders and start doing the palm
circling massage… but this time, glide down to her ass and start
massaging there too. After a few strokes, you can be naughtier with this
one.
Reach to the top of her shoulders again but this time, keep your head
low so that your face is right in front of her ass. (Like kneeling and
bowing to someone.) You can do the palm circling again while breathing
hot and heavy against her ass.
A slight – and naughtier variation – would be to lick her ass instead of
breathing your hot breathe on it WHILE palm circling her back. (Hey,
don’t forget the massage part even while you’re busy sexually arousing
her.)
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Thumbing
Go back to straddling her thighs, sitting up now, and use your thumbs to
massage her lower back. You should make short, rapid, alternate strokes
with each thumb, moving up and across her ass toward her waist. Continue
up the right-hand side of her body all the way to the shoulders. Repeat
this on the left side of her body and finish off by going back and
concentrating again on her lower back (just above her butt).
Now for the sexual part… continue to thumb massage her while your hands
move slowly down her butt. Part her crack and start to thumb massage her
anus. She will try to squirm here but be firm! If she can take it,
alternate between this massage and breathing your hot breathe on her
anus.
Repeat all these back massages as long as you want! Just remember to oil
up often as the warm oil and the gliding effect of your skin on hers
does a lot of sexual magic!
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A Sexual Massage… in the
Bathtub By Gabrielle
Moore
One of the ways a woman gives herself a relaxing treat is by soaking in
a long, hot bath so you can take this opportunity to really giver her a
treat by preparing a bath for her. Of course, with other ‘extra treats’
as only you can provide.
How to Prepare a ‘Proper’ Bath for Her
No guys, a bath is not just filling the tub with hot water and pouring
some bubble bath solution in it. If you’re going to do this, do it good
and create the right ambiance for her.
First, close the windows and blinds and submerge the whole bathroom in
darkness. Next, light some candles. They can be scented or not depending
on what you use for the… scented oil you want to place on the burner or
oil diffuser.
So for example, if you’re using vanilla oil on the oil diffuser, don’t
use strawberry-scented candles as the heady, super sweet smells will
most likely give you both a headache. Aim for one scent or like what’s
mentioned above, use non-scented candles if you’re going to burn scented
oils.
Also, don’t scrimp on the candles ok? The more, the merrier!
Next, put on some soothing music and make sure it’s not too loud or too
soft. To test this, turn the music on and go into the bathroom and close
the door a bit. Check if the music level is just right.
Next, make sure everything you need is within reach. It’s not good if
you break the sexual massage all the time by running out of the
bathroom! Plus, it’s not good for the overall warm temperature in the
bathroom. Just put everything you need on a tray and set this on the
toilet or on a small chair.
Don’t forget a few edible treats. A glass of wine or champagne and a
platter of crackers and cheese are sexy and will make you both last long
during the sexual massage.
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Sexual Massage Moves in the Bath
For starters, let her soak in the bath for about 5 to 10 minutes just to
loosen her tight muscles and wracked nerves. Don’t join her in the bath
just yet.
Start sexually massaging her while you’re still outside the tub. Sit on
the edge or pull up a chair and use a wooden massage roller and move
this along her body.
You can also position yourself at the top edge of the tub so you can
massage her head. Slip your hands under her shoulders and then draw them
up and out. A variation of this step is to pull your hands along the
underside of the head, with your fingers against the back of the neck.
Learn a lot more positions in my free report! To get it, go to:
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Feel free to shampoo her hair too. The pressure of your hands on her
scalp in combination with the soft suds of the shampoo will feel great.
Besides, this is the beauty of a sexual massage in the bathroom, no
cares for the all the water and soap that might spill on the floor.
Now, without breaking your massage strokes, climb into the bathtub and
join her. Sit behind her with her back to yours (sort of like spoon to
spoon). Start massaging her shoulders and work your way to her lower
back. And now comes the best part… massaging her front.
Start by reaching over and cupping her breasts (gently!). You can use
the soap suds or better yet, put more soap gel on your hands and start
massaging her breasts as if you were trying to create a lot of lather!
Tease her by massaging her breasts, moving to her shoulders, going back
to her breasts, going down and rubbing her stomach, back to hear breasts
again. Each time, be a bit more daring and go lower and lower her front.
For instance, just massage or ‘clean’ her belly button with your finger
and then go back to her breasts before going down to her pubic area.
Here’s a naughty tip for you: unless your woman has gone Brazilian
(i.e., has had all her pubic hair shaved off) you can try ‘shampooing’
her hair down there! Simply apply the same strokes you would as if you
were washing her hair.
As a climax to this hot tub sexual massage, you may go ahead and insert
your finger in her ‘sweet spot’. Remember, this should be part of the
sexual massage and should not be seen as the sexual act itself so be
gentle while you finger her. The objective is not to make her come but
to simply ‘connect’ with that special place as well. Good luck!
Try my HOTTEST tips to satisfy her tonight and you will have her begging
for more tomorrow…and the next day…and the next day. Go to:
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"Tantra" Sowing the Seeds of Love, Truth and Beauty
By Goddess Genie
Tantra is a manifestation art. It is a place where we can move from
mediocrity to the full extent of our joy. Tantra is a joyous art, a
happy art, one that will take us to great places if we allow it. The
word Tantra is a Sanskrit word that has more than one English
translation. The one that I feel expresses the essence of Tantra is: To
Expand One's Consciousness.
Consider the word expansion in terms of our sexually. We are taught next
to nothing about our sexuality. Our older friends or siblings taught us
most of what we know about sex; they in turn were taught by, well… you
know the story. Our sex education is limited to male magazines and porn
movies. Men learn to masturbate fast before mom hears them.
Off to our twenties, we experiment with an energy that we know little
about. We hurt others and get hurt more than once using the base
component of sex. We get married, have children and sex becomes
something less than regular. Women shut down; men lose their precious
sexual energy by over ejaculating. Men start to experience a reduction
in penis size, premature ejaculation and orgasms that are not as strong
as the ones in their younger days. Sometimes the ejaculate comes out
with little to no feeling. This is the severe depletion of sexual energy
and it will eventually lead to sickness.
Why do we know so little about sex? There are many reasons. Naming them
now will do little good, but the fact is that we know little. The most
important thing you must realize is that your sex and how you use it
will affect your health positively or negatively. Right now men only use
10% of their sexual energy and the 10% that they use is often spasmed
out in
quick
ejaculation. If the ejaculation isn't quick, it's usually attributed to
a football game that is thought about during intercourse. Men are
cheating their partners and themselves from the joy of lovemaking!
It is easy to understand why women often turn off the sex. They
intuitively know when someone really does not know how to make love. Sex
is not something that can be taught in a day, it is something you must
cultivate as you reclaim your sexual energy. Like Gene Kelly, one does
not become a great dancer by jumping into the dance. They learn the
steps, they feel the moves and it becomes whom they are. After a while,
they become great ‘dancers’ or lovers in your case. Just as Gene Kelly
cultivated the art of dance anyone who danced with him felt like they
were floating.
Making love is much the same when understood and cultivated in truth.
Sexual energy is cultivated by taking the time to first learn what sex
is and how it affects our bodies biologically, emotionally and
spiritually. By allowing ourselves to feel and to use 100% of our sexual
energy, we are doing ourselves a great service. We will feel what we
have never known we could feel. We will experience a truth that will
affect every cell in our body, thus bringing great joy and pleasure to
our lives and our lover. Destructive life patterns will begin to move
from us and healing will replace destruction.
So before you buy another expensive watch that will tell you not much
more than how old you are getting, or before you have another expensive
dinner, take some time, energy and money to finally learn what sex is
and how to cultivate it. Are you not worth more than what Playboy and
porn movies have taught you as truth? Remember they make billons keeping
the truth from you. The truth is now here, in the West taught by a few
Dakini's and Dakas. Take advantage of this gift to Western society now.
A word of caution before you begin: throw out your perceptions of sex;
remember to think out of the box. The tools and teachers are here, real
time, so, take the time to find your Goddess and learn what is your
God-given-right….
To be the Multi-Orgasmic Man you were put on this earth to be in full
joy, pleasure and health.
Love and miracles, Goddess Genie
Your sexual energy is a fire; you can cook a meal with it or burrn down
your house.
– Mantak Chia
Sex Education
by Dr. Corynna Clarke
The act of bringing a child into
creation is almost as significant as being human. You give of your self
completely. Wanting to be fully present emotionally, providing for them
materially and even physically when they fall down and skin a knee. You
are also ‘there’ for them spiritually by introducing them to your
understanding faith and what it means to you and how you practice your
beliefs in day to day life. Ultimately, you are also their first teacher
about sexuality. Whether you want to be or not.
It is imperative we begin treating children like the capable adults we
want them to be. In a "civilized" culture, how ignorant is it to believe
that by not educating our youth honestly about sex that they will ever
have the tools to behave responsibly? Knowledge and information is power
and my treating kids like mushrooms, keeping them in the dark and
feeding them lots of bullshit is NOT the best decision. That plan didn’t
work out so well for us, our parents or our granparents. Yet there is
still a significant number of parents who believe it is somehow “holy”
to operate this way. Yes it is holy infact it is literally full of
holes.
If we allow our own sex-negative upbringing to run our lives unchecked,
we are unconsciously choosing the messages we convey to our own
children. Early on most children adopt some mixture of a
fear/guilt/shame around sexuality. They compensate with tension and fear
as they embark on their first self-pleasuring experience. Imprinted with
these emotions, they are affected even as adults. Although mentally they
know pleasure is not bad, yet because of these emotional blockages, it
remains difficult to reclaim the potential that is naturally accessible.
So what now? Examine you own sexual issues. How are they manifesting in
your life and in the lives of your children? Are you committed to
transforming your own limitations and belief systems? If you have
children, or plan to it is imperative that you seek guidance in order to
break the chain of dysfunction. Our hang-ups are handed down from
generation to generation unconsciously. The first step is being
conscious of their existence and the next is to take responsibility and
seek out a qualified professional or appropriate form of therapy.
Communicate with your children openly when they ask about sex. Be
straight and you don't need to volunteer more than is appropriate but BE
HONEST. Share openly when telling them the pros, cons and the
responsibility that comes along with sexual contact. If you know you
have unresolved issues call on God/Goddess or your angels in order for
healing yourself and offering wisdom and strength when speaking to your
children. Emphasizing the good feelings and WHY they are ‘good’ and also
speak candidly about the negative things you or others you know have
experienced and why is feels bad to you or people you know.
Educate, especially your younger children, on how to set boundaries and
limits. Share about the alternatives to sex that can be energetically
fulfilling without removing clothes or even being in the same room as
another person. Teach them safe ways to start exploring like Pranayama
or deep full breathing, sounding, singing, toning, chanting, dancing,
exercising, yoga and meditative connection. Most importantly, let them
know their own bodies are like divine sanctuaries and should always be
treated with reverence. Just like a church or temple.
Be a positive role model. You don't need to be sexual while your
children are watching. But show them the loving affection that you share
with your partner. Don't let your own inhibition stop you from allowing
them to hear your deep breaths and pleasurable sounds at night. Show
them love is not a dark secret to be ashamed of but a part of life to be
celebrated. If we do let sex and sexual energy remain a dangerous
mystery, its darkness will be even more alluring to the naive seeker.
Finally and ultimately the most critical is to talk to school boards,
officials and any educational programs to which you have access. Get
together with other conscious parents and demand classes that go beyond
bodily functions and really deal with the psychological and emotional
aspects of sex. My vision is that we can enlighten our children and
empower them to make right choices.
All cultures and religions have some form of mystic sexual teachings. By
embracing this worldview, we can teach them about the sacredness and
significance of sexuality without excluding any religion or god. In our
history, we have spent hundreds of years trying to keep minorities,
women and social reformists down by attempting to hide knowledge from
them. We now we see the great contribution and empowerment these very
people add to our society. Our children are sages, for they lack all the
limitations and misconceptions that we have for years adopted as the
truth. It's us that should be asking them about sex.
Tantra: A Goldmine of Sacred Enlightenment
When
you hear the word "tantra", what comes to mind? A bubble bath for two, a
candlelight massage, and a sensual escapade? Some forms of the media
often present only Tantra (also known as Sacred Sexuality) as an exotic
version of sex.
So, what's happened to the "Sacred" in Sacred Sexuality. No wonder
people are confused.
The authentic Sacred Tantra approach empowers you to utilize your sexual
energy, passion, and sensuality to ecstatically elevate your personal
spiritual journey, as well as your shared relationship experiences. Your
sexual energy is meant to be in service of your spiritual path, not the
other way around. This is consistent with the way that Tantra was
originally taught by the masters, and it still works wonders today!
Tantra involves quieting of the mind so that we can hear our souls
speaking, rousing the sexual energy in the body not for a quick release
but for slow movement of energy throughout the body causing deep
relaxation, body-wide sensation and purging of too much "mind chatter."
The Old Masters guided students of Tantra in how to use the heightened
states of sexual pleasure as spiritual fuel to expand beyond the sensual
realm into higher consciousness and finer energy for spiritual purposes.
Traditionally until the mid 1960's, Tantra was taught as a spiritual
journey enjoining with the Divine. Techniques such as meditaton, quantum
touch, guided imagery, sounding and breath work were the foundation of
Tantra.
Modern Tantra has morphed into a sensual practice with often little or
no mention of the more evolved spiritual transformational aspects. In
fact, most people that believe they know what Tantra is only know of the
sexuality and sensuality aspects, and aren't aware in the primary
spiritual orientation and teachings.
The main reason, perhaps, is that our culture is very focused on sex
(especially in the media) and yet is very confused and uneasy with sex,
and therefore has a compelling need for sexual healing. Because of this
focus, the public is very interested in the sexual aspects of Tantra and
for the teachers of Tantra, "sex sells!"
The result is that Tantra has become significantly misrepresented.
Originally, sex was a small part of Tantra. Now it's the only thing that
many think of when they hear the word Tantra. Originally the emphasis
was TANTRIC sex; now it has become Tantric SEX. The essential elements
of ancient authentic Tantra (meditation, daily practice, the philosophy
and spiritual context, etc.) have taken a back seat to the sexual
practices.
Tantra can help heal the past and free a person from old
disappointments, offer tools for connecting deeply with others, inspire
one to live each moment in a more conscious optimistic way, and shift
vibration to magnetize more love and more miracles!
We can begin to tap into a wealth of information, practices and
inspiration to explore, deepen and learn about our natural sexuality and
how it integrates with our natural spiritual essence. This integration
is the beginning of the inner alchemy that the ancient Tantric masters
refer to; it can take your ability to love and be loved to the highest
level, thus offering the possibility of experiencing more joy in life
and deepening the connection with the Divine.
If practiced regularly the skills of Sacred Tantra will make life richer
and enhance the ability to bring one's depth of being to the surface,
for more self love and confidence, and for more loving, harmonious
relationships. As we all know, most of the pain and suffering in our
lives comes from difficulties with relationships and from a lack of
love.
If learned and practiced in a safe, respectful, loving environment the
teachings can provide valuable ways to fill this lack and offer a
lasting remedy - a huge elevation in one's ability to create and sustain
loving relationships!
Can we embrace the sacred in Sacred Sexuality? Are we truly ready for a
level of Sacred Sexuality that goes beyond the desire for new, exotic
sexual "kicks?" Or will the spiritual and sacred continue to be left out
and the public be offered 'hot tub Tantra', because that's what sells.
Most people want what works, especially what will bring more love,
pleasure, joy, and harmony into their lives, particularly their love
life. Authentic Tantra can provide much more for those who are seeking a
deeper, more profound experience of their sacred energies and
consciousness.
Tantra and Tantric Sex - An
Overview
By Goddess Tanya
Tantra is a spiritual path and a path of sacred sexuality, whereby you
come to experience the union of your sexual and spiritual energies. In
so doing, you experience the divinity in yourself, your partner and in
all of existence. Tantra is concerned with the transformation of energy.
It directs us to transform our life-force energy and sexual energy into
spiritual energy for the purpose of spiritual enhancement and
enlightenment. Within the context of Tantra, sexual relationships and
experiences are grist for the mill of our spiritual advancement – which
includes creating a bond of sacred love with our partner.
Tantra is an ancient tradition with its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism.
It came to America and the west, pioneered in a new form, known as Neo-
Tantra. Its resurgence can be attributed mainly to the enlightened
Tantric master Osho Rajneesh and his disciples – although others, such
as the kria-yoga Tantricas played a crucial role too. Osho Rajneesh
underplayed the emphasis on mantras, positions and ritual and placed it
on spiritual consciousness, and a unique combination of meditation,
non-attachment, risk-taking, wildness and spontaneity. The issue was to
go deep, find your true core and express it in its fullness – both in
life and in your sexuality.
Tantric Love-Making
The Tantric couple approaches their love-making without performance
concerns, goals or agendas – other than to taste fully the essence and
form of each moment. They are not concerned with the pleasures or pains
of the past. They are not anticipating the future, longing for or
reaching toward this or that experience. They are not moving towards
orgasm. Only this moment exists for them and they let it fill their
senses, surrendering to it completely, and the next moment rises
inevitably out of the fullness of their experience. Their love making is
slower, calmer, and more meditative. They are in no hurry to get
anywhere. There is nowhere to go but here – and now here – and now here.
They attune their breathing and circulate their sexual energy together –
either in synchrony or in counter-point to each other. By this means
they build a powerful charge of subtle energy. By focusing their
attention on their conscious intention and their breathing and by
visualizing of the movement and direction of this subtle energy, they
are able to draw their life-force and sexual energy up their central
meridian to the higher spiritual centers in the brow (the third eye) and
the crown, thereby igniting their spiritual centers and uniting their
spiritual and sexual energies. Through the same means they are able to
transmit these energies to their partner or receive them from their
partner, in one of a variety of different configurations. These include
circling the energy between them and sending it back and forth in a
U-shaped dimension. In so doing, they create the Circle of Bliss that
Tantra talks about – in which the lovers experience a powerful force of
light traveling within and uniting their two bodies. This force can
become so expansive that they disappear into the light either
individually or together, and so become one with each other and all of
existence.
There are a number of pre-requisite for Tantra without which no Tantra
exists.
• The first has to do with the relationship between the partners. This
relationship is one of the Sacred Heart Space. When a couple is in the
Sacred Heart Space, the partners acknowledge and experience the sacred
dimension in both in their own self and in their partner and pay homage
to the Godhead within. There is a term in Tantra called Namaste. It
means: “The God in me salutes the God in you. I bow down to the divinity
within you. I honor your high being.” Thus, in Tantra, it is from a
place of high honoring, reverence and cherishing that two people meet -
whether or not they are lovers.
• The second prerequisite is to be totally present in the moment –
sensing and feeling into it - and out of your mind. Thinking is the
anesthetic of the senses. When you are fully aware, with your
consciousness in your senses, and are out of your mind, you experience
much more, with far greater intensity and vividness. You are more alive,
both in your life in general and in your sensuality and sexuality in
particular.
• The third pre-requisite is to celebrate life regardless of what life
brings. To be Tantric is to say “yes” to life with gratitude.. This
requires that we not be attached to our preferences of how we want
things to be but rather to find the blessing in the “what is” of life
and flow with it.
• The fourth pre-requisite is to be able to run energy – to be able to
move and direct your life-force sexual energy, spreading it across your
body, so that your whole body becomes alive, and to be able to send it
up your central meridian and interweave it with your spiritual energy.
In doing so you are able to experience yourself in a profoundly
heightened spiritual and sexual state simultaneously, thereby weaving
together these energies and centers. When love-making, a Tantric couple
must be able to circulate this transformed energy between their bodies,
which, in an expanded ecstatic state, they will experience as full body
orgasm
It can be said that Tantra teaches you how to use sexual energy to
achieve altered states of consciousness that create a union between the
earthly and the divine -- between the sexual and the spiritual. This is
achieved by slowing down time, which is done by slowing down the breath
and silencing the mind, and by being absolutely present to what is being
experienced in this slowed down time. By focusing your attention on your
senses, you become so attentive to what you are experiencing you begin
to attune to the energetic realm within yourself and your partner. You
use your attention to intensify, expand, and direct your energy to
different places in your own and your partner’s body. In so doing you
can create a circle of bliss between yourself and your partner and can
now generate ecstatic states at will. Tantra is best taught through
direct experience of being with an adept.
Uma's FAQ'S
My name is E, I was on the internet and came upon the goddesstemple.com
site and am totally interested in what "Tantra" truly is.
Tantra is a body (books, oral and written traditions, asanas, techniques
etc) of information originating in India somewhere around 4,000 years
ago.
I've heard about it, but never really knew what it is. I guess from
reading a lot of the different goddesses' descriptions it is some kind
of therapy or learning about the art of sexual enhancement ? ?
Yes, it can be very effective for overcome "sexual dysfunction"
"impotency" "pre-mature ejaculation" and is definitely "artistic" in
it's approach to enhancement, as well as healing for the psyche, mind
and physical body. But it is many, many things and has limitless
benefits. Deeply relaxing, integrating sex and spirit, making intimacy
and connection with another more profound, therapeutic/sensual and
intuitive tantric massage are also elements I explore with students.
So, I guess my first question is, what, exactly is it ? I mean I can't
figure out if this is really therapy, which it sounds like it is, or
just a front for (excuse me for saying this) prostitution.
I do not engage in prostitution or any illegal activities and my sessions
are not for the purpose of sexual gratification but rather to expand
your awareness of your body's inherent abilities to feel pleasure, to
experience the power of the calm and centered mind, and overcome and
release limits to bliss, such as fear, shame and guilt.
Being very sexual myself ( I think I am a sex addict with an enormous
sexual appetite that gets me into lots of trouble) I am wondering if
this would be a way to heal myself of this. . . or if it would just
further it ? I'm not sure what to make of all this.
Tantric sessions may prove very helpful in this regard because the focus
is on relaxing, having no goals and communing with your partner rather
than "getting them off" it is a place that we all knew when we were
kids, but as soon as we adapted modern society's hang-ups and issues we
denied ourselves full access to huge amounts of joy and ecstasy.
Please visit Uma here at
www.goddesstemple.com/uma
The Business of Bliss
The Relationship
Between Tantra and Raw Food
written by Leela Devi copyright 2002
Coffee, cold drinks, snacks.
Cocaine. Heroin. Hash. Speed. Crystal. Ecstasy.
Centerfolds, designer clothes, new toys, chocolate, fast red cars.
We are constantly seeking bliss, satisfaction, happiness. There is
knowledge of this state of being planted in our hearts, in our every
living cell. It is the magnetic, instinctive home we are always driven
to return to in almost every waking moment.
Bliss is our birthright.
If bliss is our birthright, why then does it seem so far away sometimes?
Why do we seem to need such synthetic and/or external things to just
barely taste it for fleeting moments? We continue the chase,
masterbating the hope that it can be achieved through our ever-elusive
next conquest, our next fixation... and even then it seems that one fix
only weakly medicates the side effects or come-down of the last.
Does the never-ending cigarette exist?
I am in the business of bliss... the brand of bliss that has no come-down,
is sustainable indefinitely, carcinogen-free, and not externally
derived. Is this a ridiculous claim? Maybe for some...
They come to me one by one in grown up clothes, full of questions rooted
in determined logic, emanating from the conceptual mind. They have
exhausted all the synthetic and external choices looking for bliss, and
this has finally led them to my door. They have torn open all the shiny
packaging and were left still hungry. They do not know how they know,
but they know that there is a more exalted bliss than the one that is
born from a double-mocha. They instinctively sense that this bliss,
fueled by a deeper source, can live as a constant, inextinguishable
flame, and it does not require any synthetic or external vehicle to
access it. They come to me for the map leading inwards.
They come to me, these aspirants, and I stand guard as they let their
armor melt away to become initiated into the mysteries. Eyes become soft
and wet. They take on the smile of a newborn as they reveal that most
guarded part of themselves that seeks to give and receive love in a
state of transcendence. Ironically, as they learn to genuinely release
self-gratification, they experience a profound new bliss that may have
previously been beyond the scope of their imagination. These womyn and
men leave cracked open, happy, and reconnected to their essential
ecstatic nature. They have a new, yet ancient light in their eyes. (This
has just been my experience thus far. If you ever seek out and find your
special teacher, come naked... suspending both belief and disbelief...
without expectations or attachments to another’s story. Come as soft as
a virgin.)
The only other occasion I’ve witnessed such intense, prolonged,
transcendent ecstatic and orgasmic energy (without even necessarily a
conventional orgasm) is through the use of chemical ecstasy, the drug.
It is beautiful to watch this energy in its pure and freely sustainable
form, free from the grinding, synthetic chemical edge and subsequent
crash.
There are many different paths to bliss and I am just one of many
different kinds of teachers. I call myself a teacher, but in truth I
only help someone to rediscover the answers and treasures that have
always been inside their own ribs.
I serve as a human dakini, a complex symbol embedded within Tantric
mysticism. The complete definition cannot be contained in words, so I
will spare you the long-winded, yet ultimately insufficient esoteric
babble. I will give you the oversimplified version: I am a guide,
artist, and intuitive teacher, though not a guru. I facilitate a very
personal journey deep into the heart of Tantric practice. To truly know
the dakini, however, is to feel the warmth of her breath, to hear her
whispered words directly.
What is Tantra? Contrary to popular belief, Tantra is not a religion with
a set of dogmatic beliefs to adopt, nor is it a strictly sexual
practice. Tantra is a yoga, spiritual path, and vehicle of self
actualization that has stretched over many millenia into countless
lineages which can have certain fundamental principles in common. It is
an exacting science of harnessing and refining the raw creative force,
or kundalini, inherent in the spirit, psyche, and physical body of human
beings. In the same breath, Tantra is an organic, magical, and infinite
art... ultimately surpassing any limiting definition. I can say,
however, that the practice is founded on the motivation of expanding and
nurturing our awareness, compassion, and joy for the benefit of all
sentient beings. I know, I know... this sounds a little fluffy, but –
hey, why not? The struggle for world domination gets so stressful and
lonely, no?
Tantric practice and ritual can include pranayama, subtle-body yoga, yoga
asana (postures), meditation, tummo (the practice of generating internal
heat), physical connection, verbal communication, all forms of artistic
expression, wild dancing and singing, feasting, and standing at the
brink of madness, among many other fun activities. This path is the
exact opposite of self-mortification (the denial or repression of the
body and the senses), though it still is not a path of hedonism or
wreckless indulgence. Tantra is a journey of divine transcendence by
practicing meditative awareness in the face of artful stimulation and
manipulation of the senses. Endorphins, seratonin, adrenalin, retinal
photoreceptors, and patterns of brain and nerve activity are all part of
the physiological palette with which the Tantrika paints... all the
while with the realization that it is all just a painting.
Tantric practice is also known for its healing capabilities, especially
relevant to modern Westerners. Fruit of the practice can manifest as
profound healing emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically.
Results vary according to each individual.
Tantra is the cultivation of our selves into more loving beings. It is the
weaving of contradictory aspects of our selves into a harmonious whole.
I will stop... these are just more half-empty words that do not do the
experience justice. These words and the words of all books on the
subject are, to some extent, riddles and euphemistic dry seeds that will
only spring to life behind the metaphoric doors of the teacher’s temple.
Ultimately, the essence of Tantra can only be truly known by direct, raw
experience, initially with another experienced practitioner.
The entire being is a conduit for the transmission of Tantra. Here enters
the relevance of raw food: I find that I am the most effective,
sensitive, and powerful conduit when I am nourished by raw, organic,
vegan food.
So how then, when I am eating exclusively raw, organic food, does it help
me to be a better conduit? Eating 100% raw has certain side effects, but
this information does not come from the results of any extensive
clinical studies as the idea doesn’t seem to be too popular with the
pharmaceutical companies that generally fund such endeavors. These side
effects, however, are well known to many who have experienced the diet
in a well balanced way for any sustained period. In other words, raw
food (especially in combination with yoga and any amount of naked time
in the sun) is the best high on the planet. But please, don’t take my
word for it. Conduct your own experiment. These lovely side effects can
include...
intensely heightened senses (even colors get brighter)
vastly increased energy
decreased anxiety
increased creativity, mental clarity, attention span
diminished unhealthy cravings
decreased need for sleep and better sleep
increased patience and sense of calm
glowing skin
a far more delicious, yet less compulsive, sexuality
a stronger, faster, leaner, more beautiful body
a more delicious natural body smell/taste
Raw food is also known for its own healing properties. I know personally
numerous individuals who had suffered various physical and
mental/emotional ailments who were either deemed hopeless or completely
failed by mainstream Western medicine and psychology. They now attribute
their recovery to a raw food life style.
Raw food nourishment adds a new dimension to my existence. My whole human
experience becomes dramatically more lucent. In addition to the above
listed benefits, there are many more for which no words can do justice.
This diet also supports certain spiritual functions. Meditation becomes
almost effortless due to the increased mental clarity and tranquility.
Practicing yoga asana becomes more of a natural and constant drive
rather than a discipline. Ever see a freak holding their leg over their
head and breathing deep while waiting for the bus? Chances are it’s a
raw food junky. Compassion and altruism grow and deepen naturally,
without pretension. I am less attached to my own self-gratification as I
am so deeply nourished and, thus, not unconsciously engaged in the
vicious cycle of constantly seeking some kind of food
stimulant/depressant or mental distraction to medicate the last poison I
may have ingested. I am far more aware of the welfare of others, as I
have the increased mental and emotional energy for it. I consider myself
a scientist and skeptic, but I have found that “living in the raw”
actually nurtures what could be called psychic abilities. This may sound
far-fetched to the uninitiated and must be experienced first hand to
truly grasp. I get sensitive beyond anything I’d previously known, to
the point where it feels as if I become somewhat of a human x-ray, and
can peer through another’s skin into their very heart and mind. Ordinary
human interactions become more rich and luminous.
Raw food is the greatest drug. Raw food feeds my practice and helps me to
be a better teacher of these beautiful, ancient arts. Both Tantra and
raw food are vehicles that can bring the body to new levels of extreme
sensitivity, awareness, and experience, thus creating a powerfully
synergistic combination.
I do not claim that the path of raw food and Tantra is the answer for
everything. I believe that there is no one answer for everything that’s
right for everyone. It’s a human drive to take a moment of perfection or
a blissful discovery and make a religion or set of rules out of it. This
is one manifestation of attachment. It is also dogma. Dogma is so
seductive, to think that it will excuse us finally from the cumbersome
task of having to think, to be fresh and fluid in gauging what the right
course of action is in the ever-organic present moment. But then
again... maybe having no answer is not the answer! All I can give you is
the story of my own experience and the discovery that raw food and
Tantra are my own personal never-ending cigarette. If it resonates with
you, then take something from it.
As I am struggling to concentrate on this piece of writing, trying very
hard to say something profound and intelligent, my three year old son is
becoming a distraction. He is gnawing on his third apple, and is
tenaciously demanding hugs, kisses, cuddling, and my participation in
one of his favorite sports... eye gazing. He is standing with his arms
wide open and chanting his new favorite phrase that he picked up from
some girlfriends today... “I want to be one with you.” I was getting
frustrated and kept trying to refer this warm little guru to his crayons
and coloring book.
I’m done. Good luck in your own grand experiment, fellow beings. I’m going
to cuddle and eat apples with my baby, and nurture bliss now.
Recommended Reading:
Introduction to Tantra by, Lama Yeshe
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
by, Margo Anand
Sacred Sex by, Jwala
Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy by, Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger
The Dakini’s Warm Breath by, Judith Simmer-Brown
Raw by, Juliano
Nature’s First Law: The Raw Food Diet by, Arlin, Dini, & Wolfe
Survivor by, Chuck Pahlaniuk
Ha! by, Fernando Elvira
www.living-foods.com
www.rawfood.com
www.tantra.com
www.goddesstemple.com
About the author: Bast currently works as a Tantra educator, Dakini,
artist, and writer. She has been trained as a facilitator of the Tantric
arts by many venerable Western teachers including Margo Anand and Jwala.
She is an advocate and activist for the raw food movement and hosts
related events and feasts in her community. She will be opening a raw
food restaurant in San Francisco this year with the renowned former head
chef of Organica, Laci Fairless.
Can a Man Really Become
Multi-Orgasmic?
By
Mare Simone
I get asked this question a lot. For the record, the answer is Ohhhh
Yes!!! From the tantric perspective, orgasm is not a goal or completion
of sex, but rather an aroused physical and emotional state that
literally can be experienced throughout one's entire being. The longer
one lingers in this aroused state of excitement, the more energy and
life force they can absorb and radiate. A man may have multiple orgasms
without ejaculating and yet actually feel energized in the afterglow. As
a woman, I can only tell you that it's extraordinarily satisfying to be
with a man who can continue to ride wave upon wave of pleasure with me.
It creates a deeper and profound feeling of union.
The techniques that assist one in developing
these skills can be learned and mastered with practice. Physiologically,
it is possible for a man to have orgasm without ejaculating. Sadly, it
is also possible for a man to ejaculate without much physical pleasure
at all! Orgasm and ejaculation are functions that are activated by
separate parts of the nervous system. Although they often do occur
simultaneously, each of these functions can be experienced independent
of one another. To a man this means prolonged and multiple orgasms are
possible without an ejaculation.
During ejaculation, sleep hormones are produced
and released in the brain. An immense amount of proteins, vitamins,
minerals and amino acids as well as vital energies are lost in the
ejaculate. Although austere Taoists such as Mantak Chia, author of the
best selling book, "The Multi-Orgasmic Male" may disagree, I believe
that this depletion factor does not mean that a man should never
ejaculate except to procreate; but rather to do so with consciousness
and wisdom. When a man ejaculates, if he plants his seed along with an
intentional thought or vision, it becomes a conscious conception;
whether it's for a baby or an empowering state that one can conjure and
imprint, it is infused with the creative life force.
A non-ejaculatory type of orgasm for a man can
occur repeatedly without him feeling exhaustion. Once a man comes and
"spills his seed" he's usually spent; especially if he is past the age
of 35 when his hormone production begins to slow down. Tantric practices
offer a man the ability to maintain a level of heightened arousal with
numerous peaks and multiple dimensions of exhilarating pleasure. Many
men find this to be more satisfying. The key is to be able to be excited
and relaxed at the same time. On the "pleasure scale" of one to ten, a
man must learn to maintain a level seven (which is heaven) for as long
as he desires. Breathing and movement exercises can assist one in
opening up to feeling fabulously aroused while calm and centered at the
same time. Orgasm is deep like the ocean, we cannot control it, yet we
can learn to ride the waves and experience great pleasures and the
immense benefits that it brings.
Depending on a man's health, his age and other
conditions, frequent ejaculation can be depleting. With tantric methods
he can learn to actually re-absorb his vital essences and become
empowered by them. When a man doesn't ejaculate during orgasm, he is
able to effectively move the energy and fill his body with a highly
charged and oxygenated life force. Through the simple techniques that
Tantra teaches, a man can reach an orgasmic state that satisfies on a
deep and peaceful level. In fact, men who don't release after sustaining
high levels of pleasure often feel energized and rejuvenated afterwards.
This expanded state can last for days and can lead to a more refined
sensitivity towards pleasure. This profound experience can be enjoyed
solo, or with a partner. With proper guidance and practice, men often
find a tantric orgasm more pleasurable and satisfying than an orgasm
with release.
When a man experiences multiple orgasms it
awakens him to feel a very similar experience to a woman's sensations.
Men have often reported to me feelings of pleasure that rise to their
heart with a lightness and glowing warmth that radiates throughout their
body. Men who are multi-orgasmic have the potential to become more
emotionally intimate and able to join with a woman in conscious sexual
bliss. When a man discovers his ability to relax into pleasure, it takes
him to a new level that can only be understood through direct
experience. Relaxing into pleasure is a gateway that can open him up to
realizing his full spectrum of orgasmic states.
As a Certified Tantra Educator I can assist you
to discover what is possible and appropriate for you. Ultimately it is
your choice - Do you want to lose the power of this dynamic force or
cultivate it and discover the full range of what's available to you as a
multi-orgasmic man?
Mare Simone
Frequently Asked Questions
answered by Dr.
Corynna Clarke
Q: What is Tantra?
A: Tantra is a body of information that comes from ancient India during
a period of time when people understood the power of sexuality and
regarded their sexual energy as just another powerful force to be used
in daily life. It was just as important during those times to be versed
in that art as it was to be good at your career, to raise children, play
sports, or to go to church. The techniques I use help people to
integrate their sexuality with the rest of life, so the sexual aspect is
no longer something to be ashamed of but a force to heal yourself and
bring more creative, spiritual, sensual, magical energy to your daily
life.
Q: How many sessions will I need and how often should I come in?
A: There is no set number of sessions that you should have. You
will learn techniques that will benefit you and that you can
incorporate in to your life after the very first session. It depends on
you personally. I don’t ever tell people they have to come a
certain number of times. Some people experience it out of curiosity and
find they love it, but it isn't a path for everyone. I love my dedicated
students, they become my teachers and friends. It always has to be
people who are committed to transformation and open to really experience
all of life's emotions. Some clients come every week, because they
really get the value of this work, and they want to be masters.
I have a few clients that I've been seeing for years and years. Those
are the relationships that are especially wonderful, because we are
truly learning from each other and watching tremendous growth take
place, both in us individually and as a Tantric love team.
Q: Is this counseling?
A: Counseling only addresses one level the mind. You can go around in
your head all day and you will still have the same issues, all you will
get is maybe a better understanding of them. This works on a body and
spiritual level as well as the mental. So it addresses the physical
imprints, and communicates directly with your soul to find out what
action needs to occur in order for a healing to happen, as well as
finding out how to support that opening after the revelation.
Q:Is this full service?
A: I am not a gas station. And I don’t make any promises to people as
far as what is or isn’t going to happen during a session, because I
honestly never know. Each session is different because I tune into each
person's body to find what their individual needs are, which can often
be very different from what their expectations are.
I'm interested in working with people who have open
minds and can release their self limiting picturess. Tantra is about
sharing love and energy without goals or agendas. I do what feels good
and appropriate to me for each individual session, and I can’t say what
that looks like until afterwards.
Q: What do you wear during a session?
A: I have no hang ups about my body. I may in various states. Either
topless or nude or in sensual clothing, a bra and sarong. Again, I just
go by my intuition, and what feels appropriate.
Q: Should I work with several different
goddesses or should I just stick with one?
A: There are definitely advantages to both. Working with several teachers
and attending a variety of workshops and events gives you a broader
perspective of what Tantra really is. Every single teacher I have
studied with has a completely different approach and focus and a unique
way of presenting it. When you find a teacher you like you'll want to
stick with her because there is a depth and richness in the intimacy
that is an essential part of Tantra. If you find yourself wanting to
flit around to lots and lots of different Goddesses, it could be because
you don't feel you are ready for that level of deep connection.
Tantra, Men and Sexual Healing
by Maryse Cote
Two years ago I wrote an article on women and sexual healing which was
published in the Kali issue of the Tantra magazine. Men responded very
warmly to the article, echoing women in feeling disenfranchised and
sexually unfulfilled. I felt moved to write about men out of a sense of
personal responsibility in furthering our common healing while
cultivating an awareness of mutuality between genders. My purpose is to
explore how men have also been wounded. I am aware of the dimension of
the subject matter and that I can only barely scratch the surface yet
that’s a start.
Although I have worked privately with over a thousand
men as an instructor of basic Tantric and Taoist practices and as a
sexual healer and that I ;have loved many men in my life including six
younger brothers, I also must admit that it is with a limited confidence
that I approach the subject of male sexual woundings because I am not in
a man’s body. I can’t access the same cellular memory that I do when I
talk about women. Nevertheless I have seen, felt and heard men’s
woundings and the unnecessary suffering that results from having a
penis.
Attempting to understand how a man experiences himself
as a sexual being requires that we take a closer look at how we’ve all
been wounded. We’ve all been victims of a socialization and
discrimination process which defines our sexual identities and roles. We
are seen only as either a "man" or a "woman". Eventually I came to
understand how gender roles hurt everyone. Before being seen as a human
being with very individual characteristics and choices, we are being
labeled by our genitals as a male or a female and treated accordingly
within our culture.
To be a "man" in most cultures requires the
"person with a penis" to be a performer and provider. Men are trained
and conditioned for these roles from an early age. The core of this
macho training is a denial of the full range of emotions and body
feelings. As Robert Bly says: "Contemporary business life allows
competitive relationships only, in which the major emotions are anxiety,
tension, loneliness, rivalry and fear. Having no soul union with other
men can be the most damaging wound of all. Much personal power is given
away in the process of denying one’s true feelings."
Competition, success, ownership and external rewards
become the foundation of Superman pseudo power.
Since emotions are categorized as "something for girls"
the young boy learns very early that:
A. it’s not okay to feel like girls
B. that there must be something with being a girl
C. to be a man must mean to be strong, to be in control, to not show
feelings and to see himself as superior to women - misogyny becomes
identity.
This conditioning insidiously crystallizes the male
role of performer, hero, macho, provider, achiever, doer. That’s how we
transform a human being into a human doing. From that place of isolation
from his true self, he becomes an easy prey to a system that only values
external rewards such as success and ownership. Competition becomes the
rule and the way to relate to other men. The degree of his denial of
emotions and bodily feelings may lead him to extreme abuse of power,
greed, destruction and violence. Wars and the destruction of our natural
environment are just examples of such denial.
An interesting study of Warren Farrel Ph.D. further
points out that "men are socialized to want sex as long as one condition
is fulfilled - physical attraction. Women are still taught to be
sexually cautious for two, three or all four conditions - attraction,
respect, emotions and intellect - are met. Many women add a fifth and a
sixth conditions - singleness and status/success. Many add a seventh,
eighth and ninth - the man must ask her out; he must pay; and he must
risk rejection by initiating the first kiss; be the first to hold hands,
and so on. Men feel as if their expectations are so much lower than
women’s, which is only one condition, and they can’t even meet that. And
so men feel sexually powerless.
While men are focusing on physical attraction and
external rewards, internal rewards such as communication, intimacy, love
and commitment remain unsatisfied. Lack of sexual fulfillment results in
powerlessness for both men and women. Rarely do we think of men as
sexually powerless mainly because we associate the male phallus as the
symbol of sexual power. I see this powerlessness manifested in many
ways. In my work I constantly encounter premature ejaculation,
difficulties with erections, lack of sexual feelings, and lack of skills
and confidence in their sexual expression.
During sex, a phenomenon that Western psychologists
call premature ejaculation happens to 75% of men, preventing them from
experiencing a deep union. What this usually means is that the man has
not allowed his partner to develop her energy into an orgasm. As a
result, in normal sexual relations the percentage of women experiencing
frustration and no orgasm may be as high as 80%.
Can you imagine when this situation persists? The
results are performance anxiety, lack of self confidence, feelings of
embarrassment, frustration and shame, lack of sexual fulfillment and
deep suffering. I am a firm believer in ejaculation control as a
solution to World Peace staring at home by creating more sexual
fulfillment. My personal contribution to this is a beautiful 60 minute
audio tape, a step by step Sexercises Training which teaches total
ejaculation control and how to prepare the body for male multiple
orgasm.
The absence of a rite of initiation into malehood with
proper sexual training also contributes to male sexual wounding. Men are
not trained to know how to love women. A man’s first experience of
female love is with his mother. This relationship will determine a man’s
capability to love and trust a woman. Most men have been severely
wounded from deeply unfulfilled mothers who projected their own needs,
dreams and expectations onto their sons. The son often became a
substitute for an absent father and lover. A man’s fear of women’s
control affects how willing he is to surrender to women’s sexual power.
His unconscious fear of women’s inexhaustible sexual power confronts him
with his vulnerability, especially if he fails to meet his own
expectations as a sexual performer. His desire for control is challenged
by a temperamental male phallus which can let him down at any given
moment without notice. We call it "cumming" while it should be called
"going". Because, unless a man learns to transmute his energy before he
ejaculates, once he "cums" he is gone. His energy, his interest in his
partner are gone. The man who repeatedly experiences this lack of
control over his sexual energy will often end up feeling powerless.
Such experiences of powerlessness may tap into a man’s
earliest experience of having his genitals mutilated by circumcision.
"No one is aware of the deep implications and life-long effect of
circumcision. All that takes place in the first days of life on the
emotional level shapes the pattern of all future reactions. How could a
being aggressed in this way, while totally helpless, develop into a
relaxed, trusting person?"
"Could the trauma from this event have anything to do
with our later feelings of shame about our bodies, our concern about the
size of our penises, our anguish over sexual performance, our frozen
feelings, or the male ability (liability?) To ignore pain? In order to
begin healing our wounds we need to remember what happened to us and
name it correctly. Cutting the genitals of newborn male babies is child
sexual abuse. I encourage all men to join in ending this practice.
The more I read on the subject the more upset I become.
A more recent factor which unfortunately has also contributed to men’s
woundings is feminism with its often times vehement objectification of
men. In the spirit of retaliation there isn’t much room for discernment.
The more sensitive men took on the hard blow, right under the belt, in
their power center. While the male power structure was actually the
object of attack, many receptive men’s personal power got blasted. On
top of not having adequate male role models, now simply being a man was
a cause of shame, blame and discrimination!
Finally I am suggesting a last yet certainly not the
least important factor of sexual woundings. It is the fear around
sexuality which men have also inherited at a cellular level from
patriarchal religions. Indeed patriarchal religions throughout the ages
had people killed off for being sexually alive. The human body and its
erotic power became a source of evil. What if instead, it would have
been considered a source of divine embodiment?
Perhaps the phenomena of the New Age man is a natural
response to these woundings. I think it’s a rather creative one. These
men have opened themselves to their intuitive and receptive side. They
know how to be gentle and sensitive. Which is exactly what women had
asked from men. The problem is that through this process they have often
lost the more bold, active and penetrating qualities required for
personal power. In that way they’ve compromised their maleness! And of
course, it’s bound to affect their sexual power.
Whether or not modern man is in touch with his
emotional pain, his body can’t lie. The most striking way that sexual
woundings is affecting him is through the disease of his prostate. In
this country, over 50% of men experience prostate difficulties beyond
the age of 50 while prostate cancer is the second leading cause of male
death. The medical establishment seems to ignore the cause of it. Aside
from the immediate physical causes shouldn’t we pay closer attention to
the more obvious which is the surrounding environment; the quality of
the air, water and food? The chemical substances present in the
environment get most particularly concentrated in the sexual organs.
At another level, the significance of the disease of
the male sexual organ reflect the difficulty to convert this tremendous
testosterone power used for wars and destruction of the planet into a
creative, peaceful and sacred source of energy. It is time to
collectively give birth to the peaceful warrior, to the wise man who can
meet the wise woman in true power and equality, mutually supporting our
freedom of being divinely human.
So here is the same question I asked women in my
previous article. How can men begin to reclaim their sexual power?
Sexual Choices for More Meaning and Expression
by
Ramana
Das and Marilena Sibley
Adrenaline sex, liquid sex, hard sex, flowing sex,
expanded sex, tantric sex, soft sex, extended sex, wet sex, slow sex,
ecstatic sex, long-distance sex, quickie sex, more sex... we want it
ALL!
In expressing sexual energy, we experience the divinity
and diversity of the human body’s potential for awareness and feelings!
We are inspired, we are alive, we channel the creative life force
flowing through us, either by ourselves or to be shared with others.
Whether we make love three times a day or three times a
year, it’s our choice to hook into this life force energy, superficially
or deeply. In this age of diversity, when we can tune into hundreds of
video channels, radio stations, even web sites, there’s just about
everything available for everybody. Alternatives abound! Choices are
ours for the taking. The decisions... and resulting experiences... are
ours to make. Responsibility rests with us... each of us. No regrets, no
blame, nobody in charge of our pleasure destiny except us! Choice
involves levels of consciousness in one’s erotic focus, desires,
partners, situations. The question is whether we are in a conscious
state of alertly and sensitively being in the moment, or are we acting
automatically, unconsciously, out of past habit patterns.
The bottom line for us in getting for most out of this
life force energy we call sex is to select a path of loving
consciousness, wherein self responsibility, empowerment, self-esteem,
sensitive spontaneity and clear communication rule. Are we not worth the
best possible experiences, adventures, encounters and relationships?
Yes, yes, yes! We opt for less stress and more fun. We experience
healthy consensual sexual activity as a vital expression of overall
health and vitality. We do what we feel to do, separately and together,
rather than follow a preconceived idea of what is acceptable. This is
our time, this new millennium... an age of diversity, acceptance and
exploration of possibilities. It is an age of sexual/spiritual
empowerment... living as Gods and Goddesses in the flesh.
For us, first there were the sexual freedom days... all
kinds of sensate experimentation. Mmmm good. Then we began to explore
deeper ways to relate, as well as new ways to raise, focus and play with
the sex energies. We began to include the entire body as a divine field
of pleasure. We felt the sexuality of touch, massage, dancing and
drumming... even merely gazing into each other’s eyes, or breathing
together in simply rhythms of inbreaths and outbreaths. Feelings of
aliveness began to spread into every waking moment that we chose to
connect with that creative vital frequency. Our relationships felt
deeper and more intense. We met each other. Lust and love, passion and
consciousness, all blending into one integrated whole. We married. Five
years passed. It got pretty esoteric... and yet we never forgot that we
are in bodies, that these bodies are here to feel pleasure, to raise and
share energy, to harmonize and merge into a oneness that can’t really be
written about.
So what can we write about... even advocate in this
turning of the ages? One of our mottos is: "expand your envelope of
pleasure!". When communication between lovers is easy, trusting and
frank, all roads that lead to the oneness of orgasm are worthy of
exploring. It could be a "gee whiz" innocent curious vibe, maybe a
sweaty physical test of body stamina, or a dissolution of individual
identities into a sea of pulsing psychedelic bliss. It’s all up to the
most sexual of all organs: the brain! After all, first comes thought,
then comes action! So within our fairly loose boundaries, we intend to
stay open to as many choices as appropriate. We listen to what our
bodies are telling us, and if it feels okay, we explore. After all, in
order to know the boundaries of pleasure, we surrender to the
possibilities that sexual diversity offers. Each of us has that choice
to make. That’s where the ‘muscles’ of consciousness need to be
exercised! For some, there will be many choices, for others, just a few.
New ways of communicating, keeping the dance of
energies passing back and forth between bodies and hearts, have been
some of the most exciting discoveries for us. Giving each other breath
and hair massages, for example. This involves first slowly breathing
over the entire body, front and back, in rhythm to sinuous playful
music. Then, we repeat the entire process using one’s head of hair,
stroking the skin with many different kinds of head motions. Another
example, in the spirit of non-verbal vibratory communication, is
rhythmically drumming on each other’s in turn, in time to hypnotic
trance dance music. There are so many ways to make sounds by forming
one’s hands and then slapping the willing thighs and ass of one’s
willing partner! (We call this activity "body drumming"... it really
gets the appropriate skin areas awakened and juiced up!) In our
workshops, video and music, we explore many different paths to "vibrational
engorgement", where every cell of the body is aroused and excited,
rather than only the primary erogenous zones. It’s kept us looking and
feeling young... and it’s fun! (We’re slim and trim and in our fifties.)
Sex doesn’t have to be so serious! For us, although sexual expression is
sometimes geared to emotional or physical ‘release’, most of the time
it’s in the pleasuring of the other... then the pleasuring of the self,
and finally dissolving into Pleasure itself! For us, this has been a
path of breath, sound, touch, body positions and movement... as well as
lips, nipples and genitals. It’s become the yoga of sex! (Some call this
‘Tantra’.)
In the spirit of diversity, we’ve seen that contacting,
exploring, balancing and celebrating the male and female energies in
each of us, whether we are in a male or a female body, is a wonderful
arena of investigation and play. There are many techniques to taste,
fill and share these energies with one another. When both partners have
options of undulating and/or penetrating, receiving and/or giving, being
the passive and/or the active one, not only does this lead to delightful
variations on all the basic sexual moves, it also develops a sense of
playful partnership where supportive intent replaces competitive
intent... we call it ‘interplay rather than powerplay’. A perfect
example of this perspective is in our video INTIMATE SECRETS OF SEX &
SPIRIT, where we demonstrate ‘horizontal dancing’. One partner lies
prone while the other uses his/her body parts to move around the
prostrate body, sliding, rubbing, wiggling, pressing and undulating...
again in rhythm to erotically arousing music. Another example, from the
video, is where we demonstrate ‘joys of the languid
lingam.
Here, the male partner is totally relaxed, surrendered to being played
with by his partner, and she handles the aforementioned member as her
own tool for pleasure. No performance anxieties for the male, lots of
relaxed pleasures for them both! Finally, in the spirit of sexual health
and wellbeing, we show how to give and receive
prostate massage for the male and
g-spot
massage for the female. We are of the
firm belief that lack of stimulation in these intimate locations blocks
vital energies and breeds decay in the entire body vitality. One might
compare these techniques to the need for flossing the teeth... to keep
the mouth and teeth happy and healthy!
Finally, we have found that utilizing fantasy together,
creating different erotic sets and settings, acting out and being
channels for ‘larger that life’ energies, brings new dimensions in which
to experience familiar sensual and sexual positions and activities. It
may mean the creating of a harem setting, a bordello, a monastary, a
divine temple, military barracks, a pirate’s cave... or whatever turns
one on. It may mean taking on the energy roles of: the planets Venus and
Mars; the elements like fire, water or earth; or gods and goddesses from
different historical and cultural traditions. The point is to explore
and expand the boundaries of loving expression... and have FUN!
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